Ingrid Elkner  I'm such a sadist, I play Bohemian Rhapsody over the speakers in the spinal injury ward of the local hospital.
3 seconds ago - comment - like


"You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still Britney Spears."

FOR SALE: 2nd hand Self-Esteem
Has taken a battering from time to time but has been since re-inflated.
A few dints and scratches but otherwise in good nick, runs well and could be good as a back-up if your current self-esteem gets damaged.
Prone to shrinking, easy to lose, but a must for anyone without.
Owner upgrading to self-love. Call 9191 4800

"I'm all ears"

NEWS HEADLINES:
- Shock report: In Japan, everyone is naked beneath their clothes. "I knew they were a nation of perverts," says Evelyn Gerber, concerned mother of 12.
- Michael Jackson: still dead
- This season's must-have fashion item--the topless & bottomless bikini!

Ing's idea of a cool gravestone.

Ingrid Elkner thinks speed dating is convenient if you really need to pee.
4 minutes ago - comment - like

NEWS HEADLINES:
- New research shows men 100% more likely to have a penis than women
- Gordon Ramsay cologne: F*%K
- Jesus says he hasn't risen yet due to, "a bitch of a hangover".

NEWS FLASH: ASIMO KILLS 17, CAN'T BE STOPPED.

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT SAYS.

"When life hands you lemons, kick it in the balls and steal it's wallet."

Ingrid Elkner is baking treats, cleaning house, and praying for polar bears. Don't go over to her house to see if she's really sitting around in her underwear, covered in cookie crumbs and obsessively updating her status. Because she's not.
                                    about an hour ago - comment - like

NEWS HEADLINES:
-Lindsay Lohan fails audition to get into rehab
-Barack Obama really a white man. "It was just a dare that went too far."
-Latest trends for a global warming winter!